The First Institute of Dynamic Learning, LLC (USA)

He was a middle-aged man, who had teen aged children. When he arrived for the session, and I took all of his details, I found he smokes a pack of cigarettes a day. I also asked him a variation of a question I ask every client:  

"Do you want to quit smoking, or is someone else telling you that you should?"

When it comes to change, the most critical condition is willingness to change. Without it, any effort becomes a waste of time, energy, and money.  

At the time, I didn’t fully understand this principle. So, when he answered, “No, I don’t want to quit smoking. My wife is after me, and she insisted I see you,”. I should have sent him back.  

But I didn’t. I thought I could help anyway.  

I asked if there was something he truly disliked.  "I hate fish. I can’t even stand near a table that serves it," he said.  

So, I put him in a trance and helped him associate the smell and taste of fish with smoking—each puff becoming unbearable. I also used sub-modalities.  

For those unfamiliar, sub-modalities are the finer distinctions in our perceptions, like the settings on a TV. By adjusting these mental “settings,” we can change how we feel about an experience. Using sub-modalities, you can master your brain.

When the session ended, he handed me his pack of cigarettes and lighter, announcing, “I quit.” When working with people, using NLP you must constantly calibrate and notice if their verbal and nonverbals match or not. It's a must have skill for any change worker. With him—his verbal and non-verbal communication were a total mismatch. 

I followed up a week later: “I’m down to 2–4 cigarettes a day,” he replied.  

A couple of weeks after that: “I’m back to half a pack a day.”  

And a month later, he emailed: “I’ve started eating fish!”

Did he quit smoking? No.  

Did I fail? No. My job is not to change people, my job is to guide people to the best of my abilities and skills in making changes they want. If they do not want to change, it is their decision, not mine.

This client taught me invaluable lessons about working with people and the importance of willingness in creating lasting change. 

When you work with people, every interaction helps you learn—not only about them but also about yourself. Each lesson sharpens your skills and helps you grow.  

If you want to save years of trial and error and learn from my over 27 years experiences, check my online courses in NLP, Hypnosis and Life Coaching.  

Kamran Sultan

P.S. If you want to get a private coaching session with me, click here

You can read more case stories here

1. NLP for Self-Image & Limiting Beliefs
2. NLP Phobia Cure: Phobia of Dogs
3. How to forget painful memories
4. How I coached a businessman make better decision
5. Dealing with procrastination using NLP timelines
6. Relationship Coaching: Mending relationships with NLP
7. Monophobia: The fear of being alone
8. Stop Smoking with NLP: A different approach
9. The Key to Lasting Change: Lessons from a Smoking Cessation Session
10. Overthinking: How a Client Went from Tired to Relieve with NLP
11. The Secret to Emotional Healing: The case of a broken heart girl
12. Seeing Through: A Guide to Deeper Human Connection
13. The Client Who Reincarnated Three Times: The Key to Effective Coaching