The First Institute of Dynamic Learning, LLC (USA)

As I conducted the intake interview, I observed that this person was constantly bragging about their successes and accomplishments with a sad expression, incongruent demeanor and complains about others. They frequently compared themselves to others. This person was hiding behind a fragile veil, but I had to see through them to serve them to the best of abilities.

In NLP we say, "language is a literal representation of what people do inside their heads"

You may have heard the saying of  Hazrat Ali (May ALLAH be pleased with him) said,  

اَللِّسانُ تَرْجُمانُ الجَنانِ

meaning, "The tongue is the interpreter of the heart"

I believe people try to hide, what they feel vulnerable about, behind their words. Ironically, it's often what they are hiding from that holds the key to solving their problems. 

As a coach, you need the ACUTE observation skills to see through their words. One of the important things to NOT DO is, what we call mind reading: that is not interpret without solid evidence.

You need to pay attention to their...

• TONE: If they are talking about happiness, do they sound happy or not?
• FACIAL EXPRESSIONS: Do their facial expressions, show the same emotion they are expressing in words?
• BODY LANGUAGE: Do they show congruence or incongruence in body language?

That’s how you find the truth.

As I heard through the bragging and comparative language mixed with complains, 'people did not accept me' I sensed there's a serious low self-esteem and poor self-image issue. So to confirm, I gently asked, "Do you like yourself?"

A tear welled up in their eye. Their tone deepened, and they nodded as they whispered, "No."

At that moment, I knew the real work we needed to do addressing their self-doubt and rebuilding their self-image. I guided them to confront and heal the emotions hiding behind their words.

A few weeks later, they joined one of my classes and said, "I’ve noticed a significant improvement in my memory and concentration, and I feel so much calmer inside."

This is the power of looking beyond the symptoms and addressing the root cause. 

Remember, clients in life coaching often come with their understanding of their challenges, but these presenting problems are only the surface. In NLP, we dig deeper. When the root changes, the symptoms simply disappear.

If you want to learn how to develop this skill and create lasting transformations, Feel free to join my online courses.

Kamran Sultan

P.S. If you want to get a private coaching session with me click here

1. NLP for Self-Image & Limiting Beliefs
2. NLP Phobia Cure: Phobia of Dogs
3. How to forget painful memories
4. How I coached a businessman make better decision
5. Dealing with procrastination using NLP timelines
6. Relationship Coaching: Mending relationships with NLP
7. Monophobia: The fear of being alone
8. Stop Smoking with NLP: A different approach
9. The Key to Lasting Change: Lessons from a Smoking Cessation Session
10. Overthinking: How a Client Went from Tired to Relieve with NLP
11. The Secret to Emotional Healing: The case of a broken heart girl
12. Seeing Through: A Guide to Deeper Human Connection
13. The Client Who Reincarnated Three Times: The Key to Effective Coaching