The First Institute of Dynamic Learning, LLC (USA)

This was a love marriage. Both of them were highly educated and belonged to rich families. They had known each other for a couple of years before tying the knot, yet things escalated to this point so quickly. By the time they came to me for coaching, they had been married for almost a year.

In relationships, there are essentially two major issues that cause problems:

1. Negative neurological associations called anchors in NLP
2. Unfulfilled love strategies

Yes, there can be several others, like rigid rules, conflicting values, etc.

But for now, let me explain the two briefly and in a simple way.

1. Neurological Associations or Anchors

Have you ever been reminded of a past experience just by seeing old pictures? Or hearing an old song? Or smelling a familiar perfume? Or meeting a long-lost friend?

This happens because your brain has associated specific feelings with certain images, sounds, scents, people, and places. These associations (or anchors) can be positive or negative. They're stored unconsciously and can be triggered automatically, without any effort. (By the way, advertisers create and utilize these regularly.)

In troubled relationships, negative associations often form through repeated unpleasant experiences. When triggered, these associations evoke feelings of resentment, anger, or hurt effortlessly—much like how an old song can instantly transport you back in time,

The key, to maintain happy relationships is to ensure both of you keep building positive associations, with each other.

2. Unfulfilled Love Strategies

The second issue is what we call a mental strategy.

Briefly, a mental strategy is an unconscious process—an “internal sequence of senses” that must be followed in a specific order for someone to engage in any experience.

Think of it like dialing a phone number. No matter how well-intentioned you may be, unless you enter the exact sequence of digits, your call won’t connect.

In the same way, if a person’s love strategy isn’t met, no matter how well-intentioned their spouse is, they won’t feel loved.

People who feel their spouse doesn’t love them, despite all external evidence, are often victims of unfulfilled love strategies.

When I do relationship coaching with couples, I conduct at least one (more if needed) private session with each spouse to help them overcome negative emotions. Then, I hold at least one joint session to reignite their positive feelings and create a stronger bond.

This is exactly what I did for this couple. Over time, their relationship improved significantly. They even came back to me years later for help with other personal issues, happy and thriving with their children.

NLP isn’t a solution to every problem in life, but it often provides hope in situations where it feels like none exists.

Want to explore the possibilities for yourself check my coaching courses here

Kamran Sultan

P.S. If you want to get a private coaching session with me click here

You can read more case stories here:

1. NLP for Self-Image & Limiting Beliefs
2. NLP Phobia Cure: Phobia of Dogs
3. How to forget painful memories
4. How I coached a businessman make better decision
5. Dealing with procrastination using NLP timelines
6. Relationship Coaching: Mending relationships with NLP
7. Monophobia: The fear of being alone
8. Stop Smoking with NLP: A different approach
9. The Key to Lasting Change: Lessons from a Smoking Cessation Session
10. Overthinking: How a Client Went from Tired to Relieve with NLP
11. The Secret to Emotional Healing: The case of a broken heart girl
12. Seeing Through: A Guide to Deeper Human Connection
13. The Client Who Reincarnated Three Times: The Key to Effective Coaching