The First Institute of Dynamic Learning, LLC (USA)

“He approached me first. We worked in the same office. He kept calling me; he was so nice. I wasn’t interested at first, but then I started liking him. When I got involved, he married someone else. I even talked to his mom, and she said, ‘There are many girls like you after my son.’”

As I listened to her story and observed her, I noticed her breathing growing deeper, with a sigh every now and then. Tears were welling up in her eyes, and time to time her lips pressed tightly together, she showed signs of anger in her expressions, sadness in her voice, and guilt in her tone.

I sensed that she was holding herself back from saying what was truly bothering her.

So, I told her, “I understand that you’re hurt and that there’s something really bothering you. Can I ask you a question? You don’t have to answer.”

“Yes.” she replied

"Did you get intimate with him?” I asked

“Yes,” she replied. At that moment, she burst out crying loudly. She cried for what felt like an eternity—perhaps 45 minutes or more—as I sat silently, giving her space to release her emotions.

When she finally calmed down, she took a sip of water, gave me a faint nod, and left without saying much.

A few days later, I received a thank-you card. It said:

“Thank you for reading my mind.”

Sometimes, for catharsis all you need is a person who understands and gives you space to be heard without judgment.

Non-judgmental listening is a skill that even the most well-intentioned people often lack. Remember, every person is different and judging them because that are not behaving as we think 'they should' causes more harm than good.

Just to give you an idea from NLP perspective, all your thoughts and statements that include, the word 'should', are your judgements: Linguistically it is in this form...

• They should do X
• They should not do Y

Non-judgmental, empathetic listening creates a safe space for individuals to express themselves fully, leading to healing and clarity.

It’s a skill that every life coach, NLP & Hypnosis Practitioners, therapist and parents must learn. This is why I teach it to my students so they can be better.

If you want to master this and other powerful skills that will make you more effective in helping people, check my online courses.

Kamran Sultan

P.S. If you want to get a private coaching session with me click here

You can read more case stories here: 

1. NLP for Self-Image & Limiting Beliefs
2. NLP Phobia Cure: Phobia of Dogs
3. How to forget painful memories
4. How I coached a businessman make better decision
5. Dealing with procrastination using NLP timelines
6. Relationship Coaching: Mending relationships with NLP
7. Monophobia: The fear of being alone
8. Stop Smoking with NLP: A different approach
9. The Key to Lasting Change: Lessons from a Smoking Cessation Session
10. Overthinking: How a Client Went from Tired to Relieve with NLP
11. The Secret to Emotional Healing: The case of a broken heart girl
12. Seeing Through: A Guide to Deeper Human Connection
13. The Client Who Reincarnated Three Times: The Key to Effective Coaching